大概是,又不是关于蓝宇

Can we reprogram ourselves for love?

像是在平地上摔倒了,用了十几年都爬不起来。手与脚打了滑,多尴尬,像是喉咙里顶着一颗糖,在身体的热度中化了,变得苦了,吐不出也咽不下。

什么样能够算是悲剧呢?是否需要起承转合,还是一个没开头也没结果的故事。故事是否好听、好看,似乎也不那么重要。

曾经存在过的男孩子说,“这辈子不后悔,下辈子绝不这样过。”

像是被赐予了西西弗斯的惩罚,来回往复地将同一块岩石推向山顶。处在混沌中的宇宙对你、对我,同样毫不在乎、同样毫无逻辑。然而即使如此,即使一眼就能望到这样的生命的尽头,你仍然重复着同样的动作,仍然自愿地仰身,掉入爱的深渊。

吸引我的,就是这样无望的柔情。

___

I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot
To piss off the dumb few that forgave us

I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town again

In my life, I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong

I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober

And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way

I am drowning, there is no sign of land
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

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